As I approach Being Old (60! I was convinced I would die when I was 32) I face the fact that I have:

• No close friends
• No friends I could call if I needed help
• No friends I can talk to about anything that matters
• No-one that would hug me
• No-one that I would feel comfortable hugging beyond that 2-3 seconds
• Add that up ... no friends

This is pretty good reading if you don't know:

What is splitting in borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

• Do I wish I could re-establish people who I split from?
• People who I value?
• People who I care for and wonder how they are?

Yes.

But my fear of rejection means I do not try to contact.

Rejection would hurt

Being ignored would hurt

The status quo hurts less.